Dear Matthew

Dear Matthew,

I got the idea today to write you a letter.  I'm sure you know that I talk to you all of the time, all day long, but I thought I would try a letter and see how that feels.

First of all, how is Heaven?  Is it everything we talked about?  How is Jacob?  Who all have you met there?  I wish you could tell me ALL about it. 

It's been a long month without you here.  The house is really quiet without you.  I miss having a little boy here.  I miss SpongeBob and Regular Show....I thought I'd never say that.  Polly is doing ok.  She really missed you the first few days after you were gone, but she's doing ok now.  Megan is doing ok as well.  She misses you a lot buddy.  She's very lonely without you here.  You are her best friend, you know that, right?  We talk about you all of the time.  Sometimes we remember something funny and other times we just wonder what you'd think about something.  I can tell you that we are keeping our promises. 

Daddy and I are missing you a lot.  This has been much harder than I ever imagined it could be.  I know you worried about how we'd do after you died....and I wish I could say we're doing ok.  It brings me peace and comfort when I think of the happy times we had together as a family, so that's what I try to focus on.  We're doing some very special things in your memory this Christmas and it makes me feel very good to know that we'll be doing good for others in your name. 

We went and picked out a Christmas tree Thursday after school.  It was freezing cold and your sister had an attitude issue, so we pretty much grabbed the first one we saw.  Having a live tree really is a pain in the butt.  There are needles everywhere and you have to water it!  I already spilled water on the carpet and it's only been up one day!  AND, it has spiders!!  We might have to go back to a fake tree next year.  I told Daddy he couldn't put the ugly colored lights on the tree this year- I remember how ugly you and I  thought they were last year.  The clear lights look much better this year.  I've loved looking at all of your ornaments that you've made over the years.  They are all on the front of the tree where we can see them.  We got you a few new ornaments this year too...I hope you like them.

Today is Megan's birthday party with her friends.  Peyton and Wesley are going to sleep over tonight.  I secretly wish you were here so you could torment them like a good big brother would.  I can just imagine you'd be shooting them with a nerf gun, eavesdropping on their conversation, maybe even farting on them and running off.  It won't be the same without you here.

I told Daddy the other day that I thought our next dog should be a basset hound named Charlie.  He didn't seem thrilled with the idea, but I'll keep working on him. 

I think that's about it for now.  I love you to the moon and back =)

All my Love, Mommy

 

 

 

Megan wanted to make sure these two were together...