Here we are. One year later. I'm sitting in the same spot I was a year ago tonight. The kitchen table is filled with flowers. Beautiful flowers that are a physical reminder that Matthew was loved. Is loved. A reminder that he made such a difference in this world. A reminder that we are loved.
What does one year feel like? I can only say that it feels different than it did a year ago. Every month has brought a new feeling, every week for that matter. Today has been ok. I think the weeks leading up to today were much harder than today itself.
I was quiet today, my thoughts and I kept to ourselves mostly. I did find myself really thinking about how much of a difference Matthew made in this world. He touched so many lives. I really thought a lot about that today.
One year feels like forever and yesterday all at once. When I think about "one year" it seems like such a long time. But it feels like Matthew hasn't been gone that long. It's still too painful to really think about the future and what that looks like.
So I guess one year just feels different.
One thing that feels the same is the love of our friends and family...they have been amazing. They continue to love us and support us and wrap their arms around us when we need it most....
Tonight we went to Matthew's favorite Mexican restaurant and toasted him...he would approve....
With Matthew in my Heart, Nikki
