Christmas 2013- Lessons Learned

With hours left of Christmas 2013, I'm left reflecting on the past 48 hours and the lessons learned.

*  Trust your gut.  This is one I already know and usually abide by religiously.  The 14 month journey of caring for Matthew has taught me that my gut is always right.  I have amazing intuition that has guided me (along with God) through the worst time of my life, through decisions and discussions I never believed I would have to experience.  Our collective gut told us that we were biting off more than we could chew this year and we were right.  It was too much to expect for us to be "normal" this year.  In the future, we will honor our instincts and only do what we know to be right for us.

*  There are some things that just can't be fixed.  I think that when you experience a loss this huge, it puts your life into perspective in a lot of ways.  I know what's important to me.  I know that I have limited "shelf space" and I have to decide who and what to put on my shelf.  Defending myself against something that I'm not takes a lot of energy and I don't have the space on my shelf for that.  

*  Sometimes less is more.  Today was a perfectly simple day with Steve and Megan.  We watched movies, talked about Matthew and took a walk to Starbucks- on the way seeing beautiful Heaven clouds.  Our best friends came over and we laughed and laughed and laughed.  The kids all played with Matthew's Nerf guns and a full on Nerf assault ensued.  My heart was happier than it's been in days.

*  We can do this.  Yes, it's ugly and messy and we have no idea what we're doing....but we're doing it.  We're making our way on this journey after the journey.  With my husband and my daughter by my side and my son in my heart and watching over us from Heaven, we can do this.

Merry Christmas to all of our Friends and Family....

With Matthew in my Heart, Nikki